Wit & Wisdom

A Little Humor is Good For the Soul...

Question: What are the famous last words of a Redneck?

Answer: Hey! Watch this!

Picture the Perfect Pastor...

He preaches 20 minutes and sits down.
He condemns sin, but never hurts anyone's feelings.
He works from 8 AM to 10 PM in every type of work, from preaching to custodial services.
He gives $500.00 per week to the church and is always ready to contribute to every good work that comes along.
He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years.
He is short and tall, thin, heavy-set and handsome.
He has one brown eye and one blue, hair parted down the middle, left side dark and straight, and the right side blonde and wavy.
He has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and spends all his time with old folks.
He makes 15 calls per day on church members and spends all his time evangelizing the lost, and is never out of his office.

The Children of Israel

"Mr. Goldblatt", asked little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger' out".

"What's that Joey?", asked Mr. Goldblatt.

"Well, accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, Right?"

"That's right", said Mr. Goldblatt.

"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Er' right again", said Mr. Goldblatt.

"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again, your right", Goldblatt agreed.